


The Art of Letting You Go

by anjellie_ka



Category: ZeeSaint - Fandom, เพราะรักใช่ป่าว | Why R U?: The Series (TV), เพราะรักใช่ป่าว | Why R U?: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, M/M, josssaint, saintsup - Freeform, zaintsee - Freeform, zeepruk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23429365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anjellie_ka/pseuds/anjellie_ka
Summary: Saint is ready for love.Joss is ready to be that love for Saint.Zee isnt ready for the 360 degrees turn around of his life just yet.
Relationships: Joss Wayar Sangngern/Saint Suppapong Udomkaewkanjana, Zee Pruk Panich/Saint Suppapong Udomkaewkanjana
Comments: 10
Kudos: 105





	1. Drunk words are sober thoughts

Saint checked the clock again. 

01:30 am. 

"What the hell is wrong with that person?!"

He sighed and slammed his pen on the table in frustration. He couldn't count how many times he checked the time and how long he had been stuck on a page of his English book.

He stopped pretending to be studying and picked up his phone. He dialed his friend's number again, and called for the nth time. 

"I swear P'Zee if you don't pick up, I'm gonna tear your Blackpink poster!" 

He tapped his finger on the table as he wait for the other person to answer. He had sent 50 text messages for the last 4 hours (containing threats and violence) and 20 voice messages.

He wasn't panicking without reason. 

His friend had just broken up with his girlfriend and had been containing himself in their shared room for the past 7 days. All his friend did was drink and cry and play his breakup-playlist. 

Saint was so close to kicking him out. 

He understood tho why his friend was like that. He pursued the bitch for months! 

6 months in total! 

He got a yes, but got dumped after 7 days. The bitch deserves to die!

So when Saint got home and found out Zee wasn't there without any notes left for him, he went full panic mode on. He called all their friends, the older's relatives even that bitch, but no one knew where he was.

"Hello-" 

"P!! What the hell? Where are you right now? Why weren't you answering my calls earlier?! I'm worried sick I thought you went out and killed yourself!" Saint barked as soon as finally his call was answered.

"....." There was long silence on the other side making Saint's heart race in fear.

"Umm..sorry the owner of the phone passed out so maybe you can come and pick him up?"

Saint felt like his heart dropped on the floor. "I'm sorry. Who's this?"

"I am the owner of the bar. Your friend is really drunk right now, I don't think he'll be able to go home by himself."

Saint immediately stood up and shut his book.

"Oh my! Sorry for shouting earlier."

"Nah, it's okay."

"I'll go there quickly could you kindly text me the location?"

"Of course. I'll use the number on your friend's phone"

"Yes, please. Thank you!"

As soon as the call ended, Saint hurriedly picked up his jacket, keys and wallet and went out cussing. 

"Damn I feel like I'm taking care of a teenage boy!"

***

The drive to the bar didn't take long as it was only a couple of blocks away from their apartment. Upon reaching the destination, he immediately spotted Zee's white SUV in the parking lot in front of the bar. 

Saint shook his head. 

Good thing the older guy didn't attempt to drive home drunk! He clutched his heart at the thought of the older driving and possibly getting into an accident.

His disgust to the bitch that was causing this to his P' grew stronger. He couldn't believe someone had the heart to do that to a very kind person like Zee! 

He pulled over beside Zee's car as that was the only parking space available and hurriedly went inside the bar. As soon as he stepped inside, his head snapped left to right frantically searching for his friend. 

"You must be the friend of the drunk guy?" Someone said from behind. 

Saint immediately spun around and faced a handsome, tall and dark skinned man with deep dimples.

"Hi, I'm the owner of the bar. My name's Joss."

Saint was momentarily at loss for words, "Ah yes.. hi..mine's Saint. I was talking to you earlier."

"Yeah, I remember your face on the picture."

"My picture?"

"On your friend's phone, when you called."

"Oh.."

"Your friend is on the second floor. I'll go with you coz I don't think you'll be able to carry him down."

The guy walked past him and pointed the stair leading to the second floor. Saint hurriedly followed.

"I'm really sorry about this. I hope my friend didn't make a scene." 

"No, don't worry he wasn't scandalous."

"That's a relief. He tends to be really noisy when he's drunk." 

As soon as they reached the second floor, Saint immediately spotted a familiar bush of jet black hair on the left wing of the floor and he knew right away that that was his P'. He dashed towards the table leaving the owner behind.

"P'Zee!" He called and shook the man hugging the table. It took several shakes for the older man to stir in his sleep.

"Ugh.." Zee grunted and slightly opened his eyes. "Saint..?" 

"Yes P..it's me. Are you okay?" The younger asked worriedly. 

The older man smiled and reached for the younger's face. Saint was a bit taken aback but he stood still. 

"Did I worry you?" was the question of the older.

"Of course! I thought you went out to kill yourself!"

Zee chuckled before removing his hand from Saint's face and slowly sat straight. Like a kid, he smiled and pulled the younger man into a bone crushing hug with his face nuzzling on the younger's chest. 

Saint's arms were left hanging in the air, totally surprised at how his friend was acting. He knew Zee wasn't a heavy weight when it comes to drinking but he had never seen him this way before -clingy like a baby.

"I'm sorry for worrying you" Zee breathed out.

Saint slowly moved his arms and wrapped it around his friend's wide shoulders. He then patted its back like comforting a kid and said, "Let's go home." 

Zee tightened his arms around the younger. "Yeah, let's go home."

The owner who had been watching them for quite some time cleared his throat and handed Saint the bill. 

Saint took it and pulled out his wallet from his back pocket. He grabbed a few paper bills and slipped it in the bill holder. 

"Thank you for looking after him"

"Nah, he's a customer. It's my job to make sure everyone inside my bar is fine".

"Thanks.. what's your name again?"

The tall guy smiled, "Joss".

"Ah yes. My bad, I wasnt able to introduce my self properly."

"Eyy.." Zee suddenly spoke surprising the owner and Saint. Both men turned their attention to the now standing man.

Zee pulled Saint to his side by the shoulder and scoffed at the bar owner.

"Stop flirting with him! He's straight, he doesn't like men!" Zee paused and the frowned. "But sometimes I think he's not straight. It's so confusing. Or probably.. probably I'm the one who isn't straight? Right! She left me after 7 days. Maybe I'm not good? Urgh.. this is so confusing." He rambled a bit more too low to be understood.

Joss and Saint were both stunned at the sudden outburst. Saint was also confused. He didn't understand why his preference was suddenly mentioned? He shook the thought before grabbing his friend by the shoulders.

"I'm really sorry he's just drunk" he said.

"I'm not!" Zee protested.

"Shut up! You are." 

"Okay I am. But I can walk. I just need a little help coz the place is spinning. Also, stop talking to him. It's making me mad okay?"

Saint rolled his eyes.

"Do you guys need my help?" Joss asked.

"No!"

"Yes!"

Zee and Saint answered at the same time. 

"Shut up P. The stairs are steep, if we fall we're both dead!" Saint then turned his head back to the bar owner. "Yes please, just until we get down the stairs."

Joss nodded and reluctantly went to the other side of Zee. He didn't miss the sharp gaze the drunk man was giving him. He wasn't really sure why the man seemed to dislike him. He couldn't remember doing anything to him that could merit the behavior, aside from when he answered the phone earlier and muttered cute.

Coz really the guy on the picture is cute! And even in real life.

He stole a glance at Saint who was having a hard time carrying his drunk friend. He's too tiny to be doing this task, he thought. 

As soon as they reached the ground floor. One of the staff approached Joss asking for help regarding one customer demanding for the manager of the bar. He was about to tell her he'll tend to it in a minute when Saint suddenly spoke.

"I can take this from here. I don't want us to be too much of burden to you. Can you just help me put him on my back? It would be much easier for me to carry him to the car."

"Are you sure?" Joss couldn't believe what he was hearing. Is that really possible? With that thin body??

"I may look thin but I have strong back and arms. I've done this before don't worry."

"No. No. No. I'll just walk on my own. Just give me a minute." Zee protested. The two other men were surprised as they thought he was asleep -well, he was quiet the entire trip down the stairs.

"You can't even stand on your own two feet!" Saint said. "Stop being stubborn and just get on my back."

Zee muttered something incomprehensible before moving and latching on Saint's back. Saint immediately bent down a bit before lifting the bigger guy on his back.

Joss was behind them ready to catch them if ever they fall. But they didn't. Joss was quite impressed.

"Wow you really have strong arms Saint, do drop by here when your free. I'll fix you a nice drink." Joss offered as soon as the two were at the door step. 

Saint didn't expect the offer. He turned a bit to face the bar owner and contemplated before answering. 

"Sure. I think I'd need that after my exams."

********************


	2. I will take responsibility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lines in italic are inner thoughts of Saint or Zee.

Saint regretted not accepting the help offered by one of the guards earlier. He was starting to feel the weight of the much heavier man on his back. He clicked his tongue as he stared at the number on top of the elevator door -the elevator seemed stuck on the 10th floor.

"Ugh, why are they holding the elevator on 10th??" Saint ranted as he felt like his arms were about to separate from his shoulders.

"Saint, tell me. Am I handsome?" The older whom Saint thought was asleep asked. 

Saint scoffed, "It's so shocking that a guy who have so much followers on Instagram is asking that. Aren't your hoards of fangirls leaving enough compliments on your IG recently?"

The older shook his head. "No. I just want to know what you think of me."

"Me? Since when did my opinion count?"

"Your opinion always matter to me! That's why I always ask you if my hair looks fine before going out or if my outfit looks good."

"What? I thought you were just rubbing on my face how handsome you are!"

A tiny smile crept on Zee's face. "So, I'm handsome? More handsome than that bar owner?"

Saint sighed. 

_Joss again._

__

__

"Why are you so pressed with being much better than the bar owner?"

Zee pouted, "I dunno, he pisses me off. I don't like him. I don't like how he smiles at you."

"He seems like a good guy to me." Saint defended. 

Zee was about to retaliate when the elevator doors open. Saint hurriedly stepped in as soon as everyone in the elevator got out. They received a few questioning glances that didn't escape Saint's eyes but he chose to ignore them.

It didn't take long for them to reach the 3rd floor where their unit was located. 

Saint felt like his knees would give in any second. He silently blamed his course and his professors for giving them too many paperwork. He hadn't had time recently to jog in the morning as he sleep very late due to schoolwork. 

Saint plopped down on his back as soon as he laid Zee on the bed. The older man was beside him, eyes closed and muttering something he couldn't understand. He punched the older man's arm and muttered 'You're so gonna get it tomorrow!'

Zee who he thought was already asleep, moved suddenly startling him. The guy turned on his side and pulled him by the waist and hugged him like a pillow.

He struggled to break free but the strong arms around him wouldn't let go. 

"Phi, you've caused me too much trouble already! Let go I wanna rest!" He whined. His whole body was aching and all he wanted to do was just sleep. 

"Saint, you're not going back there okay?" Zee slurred.

"Ugh...it's that again. After exams I'm definitely going. I need to de-stress and his offer seemed nice."

"No. You're not going. No. No." Zee's hug tightened. "He doesn't seem like a good guy. You're not going. If you go, I'm gonna go with you."

Saint exhaled loudly internally cursing the old man in all languages he knew. He couldn't quite grasp why the older seemed protective all of a sudden.

_Was it because of alcohol?_

__

__

"Fine. Fine. I won't go. Let go of me now phi I want to rest."

Instead of letting go, Zee pulled Saint closer and nuzzled his face on the younger man's neck. 

Saint stiffened not really knowing what to do. The light breath of the older was tickling his neck and he can't seem to breath properly.

"Phi.. Phi.. move now or I'll kick you."

Zee didn't move a bit. Light snores were then heard as the older drifted off to sleep. 

Saint cursed his luck. He closed his eyes instead and tried to sleep. He was too tired to wiggle his way out of the older's arms. 

"I'll make sure you get a good beating tomorrow." He muttered as his body went limp and he too soon fell asleep. 

*****

The comforter felt a bit heavier than usual for Saint and it was kind of warmer. He ignored it as his lids refused to open. His class starts past noon so he could still sleep longer.

He was about to drift off when something tickled his ears. 

He scrunched his forehead.

Then suddenly his comforter moved on its own. It slid down and was replaced by a pair of arms wrapping around his waist and legs tangling with his under the sheet. He could also feel light breaths on his neck as well.

His eyes snapped open. The first thing he saw were the toned arms hugging him from behind.

He immediately got up and found Zee sleeping soundly beside him. He rubbed his face as he remembered picking up the drunk older man and carrying him home. 

"Ugh my arms and back hurts" Saint muttered while massaging his shoulder. "Phi! It's already 9am don't you have classes?" He asked shaking the older who was still sleeping soundly. 

Zee didn't move a bit. 

"Phi.." Saint tried again this time shaking the older harder. 

It seemed like Zee wouldn't wake up no matter how Saint shook him, so Saint had to do it the hard way. He pulled the blanket off and kicked the older off the bed. 

"Ouch." Zee hissed rolling on his side while rubbing his butt. He was very much awake now.

"It's already 9 am phi. You should be in school right now!"

"Why did you kick me?" 

"Coz you weren't waking up when I was being nice." 

"I don't have classes today."

"What do you mean you don't have classes. That's impossible!" 

"I don't wanna go coz my head is splitting." Zee took the pillow on the bed and hugged it. "Can you move now to your bed so I can sleep?"

Saint raised an eyebrow and that's when he realized he was sitting on Zee's bed and that they actually slept beside each other last night. 

"It wasn't my fault that I'm in your bed. You didn't wanna let go of me last night!"

"I'm not really asking you why you were sleeping on my bed. It's fine."

"Wait that sounds so wrong!" 

"I can't even remember how I got home but it's okay, you wouldn't do anything to me. I trust you."

Saint couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wanna flip the bed and beat the living daylights out of the man in front of him.

"Do you have any idea how much my back hurts right now?" 

Zee scrunched his eyebrows, seemingly fully awake now. "Wait, your back hurts?"

"After what I did last night of course my back would hurt!"

Zee's eyes widened. "Oh my god..something really happened to us last night?! Did I force you? I'm so sorry, I was too drunk!" He jumped on the bed and held Saint's shoulders. Saint had to lean back because he was a bit uncomfortable with Zee practically breathing his air.

"I will take responsibility." Zee said.

Saint's face was full of confusion. "What the hell are you saying phi?"

"I will take full responsibility of what happened last night. I don't remember what really happened. But if I forcefully did something to you. I will take responsibility. You have to take me to the police."

"Police?? Why would I do that?!"

"You won't take me to the police?"

"Phi are you crazy? Why will I take you to the police?"

"Coz I did something to you last night. Your back hurts and were sleeping on my bed. So I don't know, did I uhmm you know..we.. uhh"

"Wait stop! No no no, not that!" Saint waved his hand frantically in the air and pushed the older male again. 

"I mean my back hurts because I had to carry you!" 

"Carry me?"

"You were so drunk you couldn't stand on your own two feet so I had to carry you!"

"....."

"Ah...okay.." The relief on Zee's face was evident, "Thank goodness. I thought I did something to you when I was drunk." 

"I can't believe you thought of that phi!" 

"It wasn't my fault. You were the one who wasn't completing your sentences." Zee pouted.

Saint shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He needed to calm himself before he commit murder. He rubbed his temples and hissed. "You're making me age 10 years phi! But since you're awake now, go take a bath. Stop skipping classes!" 

Zee scratched the back of his head. He knew arguing with a very pissed Saint in the morning is not a good idea. "Fine, fine..stop nagging me I'm still older than you!"

***************

It had been an hour since Zee left to go to the university and also an hour of peace for Saint. 

Saint still couldn't get his mind off the thought that Zee thought something happened between them.

"Just what is in his head really?"

He was about to open up his English book in an attempt to continue where he left off last night when his phone buzzed. 

He saw a line friend request on his screen.

"Joss?" It took a few seconds before he remembered the bar owner. He was never good with names. He quickly unlocked his phone and accepted the friend request. 

As soon as he accepted the request a message came in.

_**Joss: Hi  
Saint: Oh it's you, the bar owner  
Joss: You can just call me Joss  
Saint: Right  
Joss: Btw, we have a jazz night every Friday. You might want to chill later since it's weekend  
Saint: I'm not sure. Hang on, lemme check if we have weekend class  
Joss: You guys have weekend class?  
Saint: Yeah sometimes. But I just checked, I'm free. Does your offer still stand?  
Joss: Of course. Your drinks are on me.  
Saint: Great. I've been too stressed with school work recently. I think a drink is what I need.  
Joss: You can bring some friends if you want.  
Saint: Nah, that would be too much. You sure your bar won't go bankrupt if you continue being this generous to your customers?  
Joss: Don't worry, I only do this to special customers. I mean. Those I'm sure who will go back as regulars.  
Saint: How are you so sure with me?  
Joss: Just wait until you taste my concoctions.  
Saint: Too confident.  
Joss: I'll be waiting for you later then?  
Saint: My class ends at 7:00 pm  
Joss: See you then.** _

_****_

_****_

Saint locked his phone and placed it on the table.

"Should I tell this to P'Zee?" He thought about it for a moment remembering how the older seemed to dislike the bar owner. 

He shook his head "Nah, I don't need to tell him. I never asked for his permission anyway, that would be weird."


	3. Two's a company

Zee sluggishly walked to his classroom. He was forced to go to university even though he badly wanted to ditch class that day. He couldn't stay home when his roommate was breathing fire at him.

"Eyy, where were you last night? N'Saint called me asking if you were with me." Poppy, Zee's friend, asked as soon as Zee settled on the seat beside him. 

Zee rubbed his face and exhaled loudly. "I drank and got pretty wasted that Saint had to pick me up from the bar. Ugh what am I doing with my life?!"

"Yeah what are you doing with your life? How long are you gonna sulk over a girl that dumped you?" Park another friend, who was sitting behind Zee said joining in the conversation. 

"If only I can tell you what the real problem is" Zee murmured to himself which his friends didn't fail to catch.

"Real problem?" Poppy asked.

"What do you mean by that?" Park followed. 

The two men's faces showed eagerness to this sudden info.

Zee pushed their faces back and cursed. "Forget it. My head is splitting. Can you two shut up for at least two minutes?"

The two men shrugged their shoulders and decided not to push further. Also, since they saw one person fast approaching them with her heels making loud clacks across the room. They were about to warn Zee but the person was faster than them. 

"Zee! I got a call from N'Saint last night. What happened to you?" 

It was Janis. 

Zee's ex-girlfriend. 

She pushed the bag on the seat beside Zee and made herself comfortable. She leaned towards Zee and attempted to touch the man's forehead but her hand got pushed away. 

"I'm fine. " Zee said as he push the hand away. "Why are you here?" 

"Isn't it obvious? I was worried! I tried calling you but it seems like you changed your number so I called your roommate instead before coming to school. Do you know what that brat told me? He told me not to bother you ever again and dropped the call. That kid! So I went here to personally check."

Zee laughed.

'Oh so that was why he was extra pissed when I got out of the shower'

He could still remember how the younger had his eyebrows mashed together while staring and cursing his phone. He didn't understand the reason for the behavior earlier but now he knew.

"What's so funny?"Janis asked, one eyebrow raised so high it could almost reach the ceiling. 

"Nothing. Anyway you don't need to worry about me. We're over remember?" 

"..."

Janis was speechless for a moment.

"Y-yes we are but that doesn't mean I don't care about you anymore! Also, I can't reach you? Did you change your number?" 

"Yeah, I did. And I'm not giving you."

"What?" Janis looked offended.

"Lemme guess, the moon of Engineering Department you hooked up with while we were still together dumped you?"

Janis opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of the water. Her face was so red in anger and embarrassment.

"He..he didn't dump me. No one dumps Janis Star! I dumped him!" 

Zee just smiled and said, "Okay."

Janis huffed, stood up and grabbed her bag. She didn't say a word but the way she stomped her way out of the room was enough to say that she was beyond mad.

***********

The sound of saxophone was what greeted Saint as soon as he stepped into the bar. He didn't know much about music but he loved how relaxing it sounded. It was jazz, he must admit it was his first time listening to one and it piqued his interest. 

There was a small stage on the left side of the room across the bar and on it were 4 people playing different kinds of instruments. One guy playing guitar, the other drums, the other trumpet and the other sax.

"Joss?" Saint muttered in surprise.

The owner of the bar was on stage currently playing a saxophone. He had his eyes closed as he swayed along with the music. He was wearing a floral, short sleeve button down shirt which was unbuttoned down to his chest. 

He looked very handsome, Saint admitted to himself.

No wonder there were many ladies in front giggling. The said man opened his eyes, and as if he knew he was there, held his gaze. It was sultry and intense and it made him uneasy. 

Saint felt more pair of eyes went his way. The others got curious who the handsome bar owner was staring at. 

Embarrassed, Saint turned around and walked quickly towards the bar. One bottle of beer was immediately served to him. 

Not long after the people surrounding the stage clapped and cheered. The band paused for a break and Saint heard his name being called. 

"You came!" Joss said as soon as he reached the bar.

"One bottle for you too boss?" The bartender asked. Joss shook his head and focused his attention back to Saint. 

"I promised, so I came. Plus this is free right?" Saint wiggled the bottle of beer.

"Of course, i'll fix you something better after that. Have you eaten?" 

"Actually I haven't yet. What do you recommend?"

"Hmm, you may try our signature dish. Come, it's much more comfortable on our couches." Joss said pointing the couch seats on the other side of the room. 

Saint grabbed his beer and followed Joss. 

"You were great earlier by the way." 

"Really? We're you impressed?" 

There was a short pause before Saint answered, "Yeah I was." 

The bar owner didn't expect the answer and was pretty much caught off guard. He scratched the back of his head and motioned Saint to seat in one of the couch. One of the waitress came to their table as soon as they were seated. 

"Please get him our house special, Arroz Con Pollo and a glass with ice for his beer. " 

The waitress nodded and noted the order. 

"I wasn't able to take a proper look of your bar the last time. I must say your taste is nice. The interior gives off a cozy and warm feeling. It's very homey."

"I really wanted it to be homey. Like a place where you can sit and chat with friends, a place where you can be alone and think. Somewhere you can go to after a day of exhausting work."

"It's definitely the place you want it to be."

"Thanks. By the way, how's your friend?"

Saint scrunched his eyebrows and took a swig of his beer. 

"He's fine. He's probably back with the girl." 

Earlier, Saint found pictures of Zee and Janis plastered all over Facebook. They were taken by different people from different angles. 

There was a picture of Zee holding Janis' wrist, one where Janis was reaching for Zee's face, another one where Zee was laughing and a lot more.

"Oh, isn't that great news?" 

"NO!" Saint's answer was a bit abrupt and loud that surprised Joss. Saint realized this and cleared his throat. "I mean, I'm just worried that that girl will break his heart again."

"Don't you think he's old enough to know that?"

"You don't know him. He's huge and all but he's such a softie. That girl will only take advantage of his kindness." Saint took the bottle of beer again and gulped down its content.

Joss could only shake his head and stare at the younger who was currently downing the entire content of his bottle. Good thing the waitress came with the food. 

"You know what, it's better to fill your stomach first before drinking." Joss said as he helped the server place the plate on the table. 

Saint eyed the food in front of him. It was an all-in-one meal that had rice, chicken and vegetables all simmered together in a pan. The mere sight of it made his stomach grumble. 

"You're right." Saint said before happily grabbing the spoon and fork. 

Joss just endearingly watched his guest eat. He found it cute how the other's round cheeks were protruding as they were stuffed with food. 

"At first I had doubts that you'd be able to finish that but now I'm sure you can."

"I am really a big eater, I don't understand why I don't get fat." Saint said while touching his tummy.

Joss smiled, amused, "I guess this is where all the fat goes." He then poked Saint's cheek.

Saint frowned, "Eyyy!" 

"Cute" Joss muttered.

The younger huffed before continuing with his food. The plate was emptied fast. Joss had the table cleaned by one of the servers and excused himself to prepare the drink he promised to Saint. 

Saint being left alone felt bored so he pulled out his phone from his pocket intending to play a game while he wait. 

He turned on his phone (which he turned off earlier out of annoyance to the line messages he was receiving from some classmates of his who were big shippers of ZeeJanis) but what greeted him was a barrage of messages all coming from the same person.

_Zee: Where are you? Let's eat dinner together.  
Zee: Eyy..are you still mad at me?  
Zee: earth to Saint..dont ignore me.  
Zee: Eyy..  
Zee: Suppapong!  
Zee: I'm hungry. Let's eat please.  
Zee: I'm not gonna eat, its your fault if I die of hunger.  
Zee: You're not home. Where are you?  
Zee: Answer me now! Hey I'm worried.  
Zee: When did you learn to turn off your phone? Hey  
Zee: I'm worried as fuck right now. You never stay out this late.  
Zee: I'm calling the police.  
Zee: Shit. The police said to wait for 24 hours! Hey I'm seriously panicking right now!  
Zee: Are you getting back on me? I'm so sorry okay. Just at least answer my messages or turn on your phone so I'd know you're okay.  
_

_****_

_****_

A surge of emotions Saint wasn't familiar with flooded his heart. He suddenly felt bad for not informing the older man of his plans. It was true that he'd go straight home after class without a miss. He never had to inform his roommate because he was never out late.

_Maybe I should have informed him?_

His phone beeped again as a new message came in.

_Zee: Finally! I'm calling don't you dare ignore my call!!!!_

___ _

And the phone rang, which Saint immediately answered.

___ _

"Hello."

"Hello! Where are you right now? Why was your phone turned off? Do you know how worried I am right now?!"

"... uhm.. Sorry?" Saint could only apologize as he wasn't exactly sure how to react.

A sigh was heard from the other line, "Don't ever do this again." The older's voice was much softer this time. "Where are you? I'm hungry."

"I'm.." Saint was a bit hesitant. "I'm at the bar you went to yesterday."

"..."

"What?!"

Saint had to pull the phone far from his ears because the older shouted so loud he thought he was gonna go deaf.

"Phi.. you almost made me deaf!"

"You..you're not drinking are you?"

"Uhm, this is a bar so..."

The other man let out strings of curses. "I'm going there" were the last words Saint heard before the line went dead.

All Saint could do was stare at the now blank screen of his phone. He was beyond shocked at how the older acted.

"What the hell is his problem?"


	4. Three's a crowd

Joss came back with a basketball-sized fishbowl filled with different tropical fruits floating in light yellow liquid. 

"Are you planning on getting me totally drunk??" Saint exclaimed. He wasn't really planning on getting drunk - a few cocktail drinks or bottles of beer was what he had in mind. 

Joss just laughed, "Chill, it's good for sharing." He placed the bowl on the table and threw in 2 straws. "This one is good for long talks. It's just margarita, tequila and orange juice. Try it.." Joss took a sip using one of the straws. 

"I'm not really planning on staying long but, okay." Saint took the straw in between his lips and sipped it. His tongue met first the taste of sweet and sour fruits, followed by the bittern after taste of tequila. 

"It's sweet and refreshing." Saint smiled, looking up at the bar owner who was obviously waiting for his comment. "I like it."

Joss looked happy because of the praise. He then leaned forward and took the other straw in his lips again.

Their faces were just inches apart and Saint felt his cheeks burn a little. The handsome bar owner was currently flashing his boyish grin at him accompanied by very deep dimples on each side of his cheeks.

Saint averted his gaze and continued sipping the alcoholic juice. 

"By the way, do you have a girlfriend?" Joss suddenly asked. "...or a boyfriend?"

Saint almost choked on his drink. He turned his gaze back to the bar owner who still had his straw in between his lips, his elbows propped on the table while his chin resting on his palm. 

Saint wanted to comment on the 'boyfriend' part but opted not to. He knew it would be a long explanation and he hates explaining so he went for the general answer to the question.

"I have no time for that." 

Joss' eyes widened. "You've gotta be kidding!

"Nope. I'm serious." Saint answered nonchalantly and copied the bar owners position. They were both facing each other with just a bowl of drink in between them and their faces just mere inches apart.

"Are you taking applications then?" Joss asked

"What application do you mean?" Saint knew what exactly the other meant but he to pretended to be ignorant. He knew the other had hots on him the very first time they met each other - well, he wasn't very subtle on checking him out. 

"I'd like to apply as your boyfriend."

It was a very straightforward declaration and Saint's heart actually did a double flip. He felt his cheeks go warm, he wasn't sure anymore if it was because of the alcohol or Joss' boldness.

"I... I said I don't have time for that." 

"Saint. I know you have time for that. Like how you have time right now." Joss reached for Saint's hand on the table and squeezed it. "Would you give me a chance?"

"I know guys like you, you just wanna get in to my pants"

Joss just smiled and squeezed Saint's hand again. "I must say yes, you've got a very nice ass. Along with your cute cheeks, they're one of the reasons why you got my interest. But no, it's not just that. I don't play. I don't just ask random guys to go on a date with me. I can't put a finger on it but ever since that day I just can't get your smile out of my head. I have been meaning to ask if you cast a spell on me."

Saint couldn't help but laugh, "You know what, you're the most straight forward person I've ever known. And I.. I kind of like that."

"What the fuck?" Someone's sudden outburst surprised the two. 

The straw Saint was biting was suddenly pulled and the next thing he knew an outraged Zee was already sitting beside him. Saint had never seen him this mad.

"P-phi.."

"I told you I dont like this guy." Zee exclaimed.

"Wow. What did I even do to you to deserve such hate?" Joss butted in.

"Shut up." 

"No you shut up." Joss retorted.

"Hey.. hey stop this you two!" Saint intervened when he saw that the two were close to grabbing each other's collar. "Phi, don't make a scene! What's wrong with you?!" 

"What's wrong with me? I was worried sick and here you were having a nice time with this guy!"

"Okay, I may not have informed you about this but you never inform me if you would be out late too! Also I'm an adult for goodness sake!"

"Your parents entrusted you to me so you are my responsibility!"

"You know fully well that I am a responsible person."

"I know that! But I don't trust this guy!" Zee snapped at Joss.

"Me? Hey, you are inside my bar right now and I can throw you out anytime I want." Joss said, his patience was wearing thin.

"Oh really? Try me." Zee challenged.

"Stop." Saint slapped Zee's shoulder.

"You know what, you're unreasonable. Stop acting like his goddamn guardian and get the fuck out of my bar." Joss stood up and grabbed Zee by the arm.

"I'm not leaving without Saint."

"I'm not leaving." Saint stubbornly said.

"Then, I'm staying." Zee pulled his arm leaned back on his seat.

"Fine. Let's continue what we were discussing earlier." Saint faced Joss.

Joss looked at Zee first before asking, "Are you sure?"

Saint just nodded.

Zee who was lost asked, "What were you talking about?"

Joss leaned back on his seat and smirked, "I was asking him out."

"...."

Zee was speechless. After hearing those words from Joss, his head immediately snapped towards Saint. He didnt say anything but the dread on his face was so evident.

Saint who was feeling braver than usual - probably due to alcohol - said, "I was actually considering it."

"No. Youre not gay." Zee exclaimed.

"I actually am."

"..."

"..."

Silence enveloped them. Zee and Joss both had their eyes glued to Saint, their faces showing surprise and confusion.

"You're lying." It was Zee who broke the silence. "I should've known if you were. You would've told me, right?"

"I realized when I was in high school." Saint continued.

"..."

Zee looked like he was splashed by cold water. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, he felt betrayed.

"Why did you not tell me? I've known you since forever and you're just telling me now? I thought we were closer than this? You know everything about me. Every single girls I dated. How could I not know this very important thing about you?!" 

Saint bit his lips trying to stop his tears from falling. It was a secret he had been hiding to everyone. He thought it was okay to be in the closet and was determined to stay hidden but Joss made him imagine a better life with someone by his side.

Someone who would proudly hold his hand in public and tell him he loves him. For the longest time, he had feared of being judged and looked at differently. 

"I was scared. I didn't want you to look at me differently. I didn't want you to be cautious with me. Would you have roomed with me if you knew?"

"I..yes of course!" Zee answered. He then held Saint by the shoulders. "I would never ever judge you. I just feel very disappointed that you don't trust me."

"I'm sorry..please don't tell my parents yet." Saint plead.

"Of course. But I am not letting you date this guy." 

"Excuse me? You're in no position to decide that!" Joss exclaimed.

Zee turned to Saint again and said

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Date me instead."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to that Zee x Saint x Joss photo. It inspired me to continue this fic ♥
> 
> Please support WhyRU, only watch on LINE TV and give them lots of encouragement. 
> 
> Love,
> 
> Anne ♥


	5. Unknown Feelings

_Thank you for the drinks and food._

Saint texts Joss. He's already in Zee's car and are on their way home (because it was too impossible to stay in one place with the two men biting each other's head off nonstop). He then glances at Zee who's been quiet ever since they stepped out of the bar.

_'Date me instead.'_

His ears flushes red when he remembers the older man's offer earlier. The words still ring in Saint's head. He was utterly speechless. It was so out of the blue and he wasn't prepared for it! At first he thought the older was just joking but no, he had never seen his Phi that dead serious - he was very much ready to flip Joss every time he tried touching him.

_Was it over protectiveness?_

He's been trying to think of rational reasons behind it since earlier but he couldn't find any. Granted, Zee has been protective of him ever since they were kids but dating him is stepping out of the line of friendship and brotherhood. He's still confused and he needs to talk to Zee properly.

Ping. Saint's phone beeped, receiving a reply from Joss.

_No. Thank you for coming. Also, be prepared to be courted properly ♥_

Saint snorts at the overly cheesy text. His thumb hovers the reply button but opts for cancel instead coz even without looking he knows Zee has been side glancing. He pockets his phone instead and looks outside the window.

He sighs, a deep one. His plain and quiet life is off to a total change. He doesn't want to admit it but he likes this attention. He loves it.  
  


*******

Zee and Saint quietly enter their shared room. Saint goes straight to his bed while Zee to their study table. Their room has never been this quiet when they're both there.

"Do you like me Phi?" Saint asks. It's been bugging him and he wants an answer now. "Do you like me that way? Not as a younger brother. Not as a friend."

Zee looks panicked. He opens his mouth but closes it again. Saint waits, not really sure what to expect or what he wants to hear from the older.

"I...I don't know." Zee mutters, shoulder slumped and eyes focused on the floor.

Saint just looks at him, his eyes filled with different emotions. Disappointment. Confusion. Annoyance. What does he want from him?

Ever since they were kids, he had always looked up to Zee. His favorite Phi, he would always say. At one point in his childhood he had considered the older _special_. That time when he was figuring out his identity, Zee was the one that made him sure of his orientation. He adored the older, his first crush. But as they grew, he realized he can only be a friend and a brother to him so he decided to box what he really is.

But now, with all his actions, these old feelings are starting to resurface and he's not sure if he'll be able to shut them again.

"Look at me phi please." Saint pleads.

The older of the two slowly lifts his head and trains his eyes to the younger sitting on the bed in front of him.

"If you're worried about me. You don't need to do this."

"But you're still going to date him?"

Saint bites his lips. Does he want to be in a relationship? Probably yes? Did he feel good when Joss told him he likes him? Definitely yes. Does he like Joss? He's not sure.

But he wants to try. He's been alone too long. Been afraid too long.

"I want to try." Saint answers.

Zee abruptly stands up. His jaw tight and face fierce. "Try it with me." He says.

Saint can only shake his head, with a sigh he stands and faces the older. "You don't know what you're saying. You don't even like me."

"I like you."

"You like me as a friend a brother. I want a lover."

Zee groans and face palms. He's not sure what he's feeling and it's making him frustrated. He has not dared confronting what it is really. What he only knows and sure is that he hates seeing Saint with the bar owner. He hates it when he touches him and he can't bear the thought of Saint going out with him.

He almost went berserk when he saw them earlier talking so close while sharing a bowl of drink. It took all of his self restraint to not pull the other man and punch him in the face.

"Can I date someone else instead?" Saint speaks again. He then holds the older's arm and turns him to face him. "Would that make you stop all this craziness?"

Zee zones out. His head conjures up images of different men going out with Saint. Holding his hand, his waist. Hugging him. Kissing him.. and..

"NO!" He exclaims.

He's now sure he hates the whole idea of Saint dating. All these years, Saint has not shown interest to any man or woman. He's used to seeing a study oriented Saint. He's used to having all the younger's attention to himself.

"Do you like me Phi?" Saint asks again, this time in a softer voice.

Zee's breath hitches.

_Does he like him?_

It's a question that has slipped his mind several times but he never dared to answer. Does he swing that way? He's definitely sure he's never had these feelings towards other men. He has never cared for his other male friends the same way he does to Saint. Heck not even to his sisters.

_Does he like him?_

It's definitely not a no, but he can't say it's a yes.

Yet.

"My mind is in total chaos right now Saint." Zee finally answers. "I don't know what's this I'm feeling. I feel suffocated every time I see you with Joss. I don't feel at ease leaving you with him. I don't like this bothering feeling when you're with him. I care a lot about you. You know that. This is the first time you've shown interest to someone else and its eating me alive. This... this feeling is consuming me."

"So, what is it that you're feeling?"

Zee fidgets on his spot. "I'm sure I care about you more than just a friend. But, I can't risk our years of friendship for something uncertain."

Saint exhales loudly.

"Uncertain..okay..." he mutters. He then lifts his head and holds his Phi's gaze. He takes a step closer, too close for Zee's sanity and then wraps his arms around the older's waist.

Zee feels his heart jump out of his chest. This closeness is messing up his mind that's in total turmoil at the moment. It also doesn't help that Saint's looking up at him with those innocent eyes of his!

"Does this disgust you?" He asks.

Disgust?

"No! Of course not!" Zee immediately answers. There are a lot of feelings and emotions coursing through his veins at the moment but disgust is definitely not one of them.

Saint smiles and nods in content. "Does this make your heart beat fast?" He asks again.

Zee doesnt know where this is heading but yes he's sure his heart rate doubled. Has his heart ever did this before?

"I'm sure you can tell that. I'm afraid you can even hear how fast it beats right now."

Saint nods again before unwrapping his arms and stepping back.

"Joss said he'll court me properly. You have to be honest with what you're feeling before it's too late. I'll use the shower first."

Saint then leaves dumbfounded Zee to take a shower.   
  


***********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of ending this with 7 chapters.. but things may change lol
> 
> What do you think of this update? Lemme know in the comments.
> 
> Love,
> 
> Anne ♥


	6. Baby Steps

Zee wakes up from the continuous shuffling he's hearing. He cracks an eye open and sees Saint styling his hair in front of their full length mirror. He groans before lazily getting up, eyes still half open. After the events yesterday, he spent the whole night thinking of his true feelings for Saint which left him with a little to no sleep.

"Why are you up so early? Do you have classes today?" He asks the now texting male sitting on the bed beside his. He just noticed that younger male is not wearing uniform but a graphic white shirt and a black skinny jeans (a really tight one). He scrunches his brows.

Saint briefly looks up before focusing his attention back to his phone. "No, I have a date."

Zee almost fell off his bed, he's fully awake now. "Did you just say, date?"

"Yes." Saint answers nonchalantly

"With who? With Joss again?"

"Yup"

Zee doesnt know what to do. He wants to stop Saint, but under what rights? He stands up not really knowing if he should dash to the door and lock it or push the younger back to the bathroom to take off that sinful pants and change to anything much looser.

"I can't stop you right?" He asks, he knows it's stupid.

"No, you can't." The younger sighs. "Phi, I know what I'm doing okay."

Zee pouts, not that he thinks it will work but that's the only thing he can do.

"Umm, at least change into a different pants!" He exclaims. The sinful pants is really bothering him.

Saint raises an eyebrow, confused. He looks down at his pants to check if there's something on it that he didn't notice like a stain or a tear but nothing. He then checks the back through the full length mirror and that's when he noticed. The black jeans hugs his curves perfectly that it accentuates his legs and ass. Not that he bought the jeans for it nor wear it right now to impress Joss, he bought it because it's comfortable, that's all.

Realizing the reason why the older is asking him to change, he smirks. "No, I like its fit."

"No!" Zee's snaps.

Saint shakes his head and then walks towards Zee. "Phi, I know how to protect myself." He then leans closer and whispers to the Zee's ear.

"I have condoms in my wallet" with that Saint leaves whistling, hands in his pocket.

Zee stands motionless, eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. His head was only filled with one word. Condom.

He was only pulled back from his trance when the door was shut with a loud thud.

"Fck. Suppapong get back in here!"

**********

Saint heard Zee call out his name earlier but he immediately shut the elevator door, leaving him in the hallway. Afraid that Zee might have caught the other elevator he immediately drags the tall and handsome guy in black pull over and light blue pants standing in the lobby towards the door.

"Is your car parked in front?" Is his immediate question to the stunned man.

"Umm, yes. What's with the rush? Are you excited hm?"

Saint hits his arm. "Of course not, if you don't want any unwanted chaperones to this date you better hurry up!"

"Oh I get it. He's bad news. Let's go."

Joss fishes his keys out of his pocket as soon as his car comes in sight and unlocks the doors. They're out to the street as quick as a flash.

"Phew, that was an exciting start. Still that roommate of yours?" Joss says in all smiles.

Saint sighs, "Yes. He seems to hate you so much."

Joss just laughs, "I think he'd hate anyone who would approach you with intent other than friendship. Has he always been like that?"

"No, this is actually the first time. Anyway, I never dated anyone."

Joss nods. "I'm very honored to be the first one."

"By the way, whats the plan today? Your invitation was such a short notice I'm not even sure if I'm dressed properly for it."

Joss smiles. "First things first. You promised me that you're mine the whole day, no backing out okay?"

"Stop making it sound weird!" Saint exclaims, cheeks all pink. "But yes, I've no other plans today. You -you have me the whole day."

Joss pumps his fist in the air, a smile stretching his lips to their limits.

"Stop that! You'll kill us." Saint says, embarrassed.

"I'm just happy."

Saint wants to say he's happy too. Everything's been exhilarating.

He feels... free.

He's not sure yet if he likes Joss to a level where he'd want to be in a relationship with him but he likes this feeling for now, he'll figure it out it later.

***********

They took their time having breakfast in a coffee in shop they found. They talked about themselves, their hobbies, likes, dislikes and pretty much everything. They found it amusing how they have a lot of things in common. From their taste in music to food.

Joss sports a very toned body so Saint is quite surprised to know how much the other loves cooking and eating. Joss is actually the one who created the dishes in his bar's menu. Impressive.

"So where are we going next?" Saint asks. They're both done eating and are just enjoying chatting (and the air conditioner of the shop).

"Shopping."

Saint scrunches his brows. "Shopping?"

"Yes, let's go to Siam"

The disappointment on Saint's face is very evident. He was expecting something more romantic, like going to an amusement park or a movie date. As much as Saint hates to admit it, he's excited for this date. It's his first time going out with someone of the same sex who actually likes him!

Joss smiles, before reaching out to the thin hands resting on the table. Saint flinches, surprised but Joss did not let go. He entwined their hands.

"I want you to feel at ease of who you are. Let's take baby steps."

Saint frowns, "Holding my hand isn't baby steps."

"You see, you're still afraid to be seen as gay."

That struck something. Saint hasn't given it much thought but what Joss is saying is true. He kept a safe distance and avoided anything that would indicate they were out on a date. He even called him bro several times when he noticed some customers looking at their direction.

"Okay, I admit but what does shopping have to do with it?"

Joss leans back on his seat and scratches the back of his head a shy boy smile gracing his face.

"I have a reunion to attend tomorrow and I want you to help me shop for clothes to wear for it. It's probably the best starter in exposing you to people and let you just be yourself when you're with a special someone or a boyfriend(?). Stop minding of what others think of you. Just .. you know, act accordingly, were not buddies, we're going out." 

Saint bites back a smile threatening to stretch his lips. 

_Why is he so cute?_

"Thank you."

Saint's eyes widen, "Did I say that out loud?"

Joss laughs, "You did."

_Fuck._

"Don't worry, you're cuter!"

Saint makes a face, "Stop with the cheesy lines! But okay, shopping it is then. I don't want to go out under the sun in this hot weather anyway. Malls are the best place to be."

"To be honest, I wasn't expecting you'd agree when I texted you last night. I am a bit unprepared right now."

Saint pulls his hand from Joss' grasp and playfully slaps him in the arm. "I knew it!"

"I'm sorry. I was just testing my luck. But don't worry, they say that the best adventures are those unplanned." Joss flashes that handsome smile of his again. That one accompanied by very deep dimples on each cheek. 

Saint cant help but just pray that this isn't an impending disaster. There goes his first date.

*******************

Zee paces around the room, his phone in his hand. He has been trying to call Saint but it seems like he's been muted. He looks at Saint's empty bed and curses when his brain conjured up disturbing images.

"Fuck Pruk what's wrong with you." He drops on his own bed and groans. "Do you really like your friend that way? Are you gay?"

He mentally beats himself for not being able to answer the question Saint dropped on him. It's not that easy to admit. He believed he's straight his entire life and have fantasized about women with big boobs he cant just immediately accept that he likes asses now.

_Well Saint does have a pair of really round buns._

The thing in between his legs twitches. His eyes widens.

"Oh my gahd Pruk. What the fuck?! You just didn't think of your friend that way. What the fuck?!" He slaps his forehead several times to erase the images in his head. He wrestles with his pillow and comforter, making a mess. 

He's busy wriggling in his bed when he heard a knock. He jumps out of the bed.

_Is it Saint? But why would he knock?_

"Eyy Zee open up! You're not dead in there are you?"

It was Parks voice.

"He's probably not there. He's probably going around Bangkok searching for Saint haha"

It was Poppy.

_Why the hell are those two idiots here?_

He's about to ignore the two and pretend no one's home when a thought crossed his mind. He dashes to the door and rips it open.

"Come in. I need help."

The look on Zee's face is scary and the two are considering just running away. Too late though Zee is already pushing them in.

The next words that came out Zee's mouth as soon as he locked the door made them want to leave the room and call for help.

.

.

.

"You two. Drop your pants."

*************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the fastest update I ever made? I plan to update as much before my work resumes.  
> Btw, JossSaint's date isn't over yet! Also, I understand that ZeeSaint progress is a little slow but I hope you understand that Zee's straight. It's not that easy to accept that you are suddenly in love with a man and your bestfriend at that.  
> Lemme know your thoughts in the comment.
> 
> Love,  
> Anne♥


End file.
